Tenchi's Substitute Mechanical Doll!
by Mishaio
Summary: Washu makes a new doll to replace Tenchi. It turns out to be a little more "friendly" with the ladies...if you know what I mean.


Tenchi's Substitute Mechanical Doll!  
By Mishaio  
  
"Okay Ayeka! I have had it with you! Prepare to die!" Ryoko blasted an energy ball towards Ayeka.  
'What the hell is going on in here?" Yelled Tenchi. The energy blast barley missed Tenchi. Ayeka surrounded herself with a force field.  
"Is that the best you can do Ryoko? You've tried that trick with me so many times! Hah!" Ayeka laughed.  
"Speak for yourself Princess. That's the only power you got!" said Ryoko.  
"Now girls..." began Tenchi.  
"Shut up!!!" They both yelled.  
"Stop it! I'm Sick of your fighting!" yelled Tenchi. They both paused and glared at Tenchi. "I'm both sick of you! What the hell is wrong with both of you?" Ryoko raised an eyebrow.  
"...uh" Their mouths dropped open. Ryoko disappeared and appeared again on Tenchi's shoulder.   
"Wow Tenchi! I've never seen this side of you before!" Ryoko squealed.  
"Get off of him Ryoko!" Screamed Ayeka.  
"Fine officer. I don't enjoy confrontations." Ryoko backed off. Tenchi rolled his eyes.   
"Great girls now your communicating well... officer?" said Tenchi.  
"Ryoko what is wrong with you? You actually obeyed a command." Said Ayeka slowly.  
"What's wrong with me? What is wrong with me?" said Ryoko. "Ayeka, I am a breathing creature too! I have choices, and by that I don't always have to be myself. I just backed away. That's all." Ayeka was silent. Tenchi shook his head and ran out of the cave and into the house. The two girls chased after them.  
  
Sasami was cooking again. "Mmm! Smell good Sasami! What ya cooking?" asked Tenchi.   
"Food..."  
"What kind of food Sasami?" He asked.  
"Listen. Tenchi, GET OUTTA HERE!" Screamed Sasami. Tenchi gasped and ran out of the room and into the living room. Kiyone and Mihoshi were sitting on the couch watching Wheel of Fortune. Tenchi sat down next to Kiyone. She hopped on top of him.  
"Ah Kiyone! What are you doing?" he yelled.  
"Nothing..." Kiyone tilted her head. "We're just watching the Wheel!" she said.  
"Kiyone. You're not acting like yourself.  
"What Tenchi. I'm perfectly fine." She glanced back at the television. "Oh oh! Buy a vowel!"  
"And how about you Mihoshi?"  
"Where is Ryo-oh-ki?" asked Mihoshi.  
"Huh? Since when are you worried about Ryo-oh-ki?" asked Tenchi. She went back to watching the television. Suddenly Ryoko and Ayeka came in the room again.  
"Shut up princess! I am an officer of the law!" said Ayeka.  
"Huh? Don't address the princess like that!" said Ryoko.  
"Okay what is going on? Is this some kind of sick joke" asked Tenchi.  
"What do you mean? Asked Kiyone.  
"Ryoko is addressing herself as a princess and Ayeka is acting like you! Do you get it?" yelled Tenchi.  
"Um. Nope..." Kiyone put her finger on her lower lip. "I don't get it at all!" she said. Tenchi backed away and he pointed.  
"You too! What the hell is going on!" Tenchi screamed. Washu came running out of her laboratory.   
"Tenchi! Tenchi! Calm down! I know what is going on!" said Washu.  
"What! Please tell me! I think I'm going crazy!" Tenchi shook Washu. "Kiyone is acting like Mihoshi, Mihoshi is acting like Sasami, Sasami is acting like Ryoko, Ryoko is acting like Ayeka, and Ayeka is acting like Kiyone! It's just a vicious circle! Ahhh!"  
"Don't worry Tenchi. I got it all figured. Technically you caused this." Said Washu.  
"What?"  
"Come into my lab, where they can't hear." Washu led Tenchi into her lab.   
"How did I cause all of this." Asked Tenchi.  
"Well, I made a machine, made to calm personalities. But obviously something went wrong. Now all the girls' personalities are mixed up. They will still address each other as their real names but not themselves. But they will address themselves as the personality they got. Like Ryoko acting as if she were a princess of Jurai or something. It didn't affect you or me because I made sure that wouldn't happen. I don't like other people with my brains." She smirked.  
"But did how..."  
"Shut up. I'm not done. I programmed it to trigger the next time you lost your nerve to anyone fighting. Do you know why now?"  
"Yeah. I yelled at Ayeka and Ryoko in the cave for fighting again..." said Tenchi.   
"What were you doing in there in the first place?" asked Washu.  
"I just wanted some piece and quiet. Then they both came chasing after me." Said Tenchi.  
"Ah! I see. So that's why you yelled cause they were disturbing you. Right?"   
"Yep. And to think they had the nerve to do that." Said Tenchi.  
"Why are you acting so surprised? We've lived with you for approximately a year and a half now." Said Washu.  
"You're right. Uh. How can we change them back?"   
"Simple. Just push this button.." Washu walked across the room and sat in her stool and pushed a button on the computer. Suddenly a huge fight broke out in the living room. It was Ryoko and Ayeka.   
Tenchi grabbed his hair and pulled it. "Ahhhh! Washu! I can't take the fighting anymore! Do something! Quick! Or I'll loose it!" He paced back a forth.  
Washu rose her finger and smirked. "I'm glad you chose now to ask Tenchi. By observing you over a certain period of time, I have now finished my best invention yet!" Washu made an evil laugh.  
"Me? What about me?" asked Tenchi. He stopped.  
Washu waddled over to a large white sheet covered over something tall. About the size of a normal human being. She pulled the sheet off. "Tah-dah! Here it is! The Tenchi 4000!"  
"What does it do? Hey! It looks exactly like me!" Tenchi walked over slowly and touched it.  
"Yeah. I know. Aren't I just the cutest little genius ever?" She cleared her throat. "Anyways it replaces you in everyway. So while you are getting chores done, it does activities with the girls. And they'll have no clue it's not you!"  
"What's the catch?" asked Tenchi. He crossed his arms.  
"No catch. Well...just except it does everything opposite of your personality." Said Washu with a smile.  
"What do you mean opposite? "asked Tenchi.  
"Well, basically it will be more friendly with the girls." She nudged Tenchi. "If ya know what I mean..."   
Tenchi fell back. "Ah! You mean..."  
"Yep."  
"I don't want that kind of reputation! Grandpa will kill me!"  
"Well not you. The doll." Said Washu confidently.  
"Still..."  
"I've made extras just incase something would happen." Washu pushed another button on her computer. Suddenly, the whole back wall lifted up, only to expose six other Tenchi 4000's. Tenchi stood back proudly.  
"Well Washu, I've gotta hand it to ya. You did make them look real. Okay. I'm up to it!"   
Washu activated the first robot. "We'll only use one for now. Just for a test drive." The doll stood up and walked over casually to Tenchi.   
"Hello. My name is Tenchi. Nice to meet you!" said the doll. Tenchi shook its hand.   
"Yeah...." He looked back over at Washu. "Uh...Washu."  
"Mmm?"  
"I'm having second thoughts. Are you sure this will work?" asked Tenchi.  
"Sure!" Washu pulled out a piece of paper. "See? It has a 2 year warranty!" ::trumpets::  
"Great! Let's send it out there and see what happens!" said Tenchi.   
"Baka! Go outside and get those girls!" Washu laughed as the doll strolled outside the laboratory.   
Washu turned on the surveillance camera in the living room. Tenchi and Washu watched.  
  
"Hey girls!" The doll waved. The girls stopped and gasped.  
"Tenchi!" they all said. Sasami walked carefully into the dining room and sat the hot pot of soup on the table. Sasami laughed.  
"Time to eat Tenchi. I tasted the soup. It's delicious!" said Sasami. She giggled.  
"Great!" The doll kneeled on the floor and started licking the soup out of the pot like a dog.   
  
"I still gotta work that little glitch out..." said Washu.  
"What? Now he's making me look like a dumb ass! First he plays me and he gets to eat my meal? Geeze Washu." Said Tenchi.  
"Oh yeah. I forgot about that. I'll save you a bowl of soup." Washu stood up and walked out the door.  
  
"Hey guys!" Washu waved.   
"Hi Washu!" said everyone. Washu also sat down and started to eat. The Tenchi 4000 was still licking the soup.   
"Washu! Tenchi won't stop licking the soup!" said Sasami. Washu smacked him on the back and he stopped.   
"Oh! Sorry!" said The Tenchi 4000. Sasami looked at the pot of soup.   
"Ewww...Washu, I don't think you want this anymore. I'll go make up a fresh pot. I'll be back." Sasami walked into the kitchen and poured the spoiled soup into the sink.  
"Now Tenchi...What ever were you thinking?" said Washu. She winked at him.  
"I am sorry Washu. I shouldn't of done that." Said the doll. Suddenly Ryoko jumped on Tenchi.   
"Say Tenchi, ya wanna go do something later? You know, just you and me..."  
"Ryoko! You know he always says no!" said Ayeka.  
"Great Ryoko! Let's go!" The Tenchi 4000 pushed away it's soup and it went outside with Ryoko.  
  
"Heh! Wow, that robot is coming in handy..." Said Tenchi. Washu walked in again.  
"Here's some soup Tenchi." She sat it down on the table. Tenchi grabbed the spoon.   
"I see your robot is working out very well Washu." Said Tenchi. He sipped the soup.  
"I know." Said Washu.  
"So, what do you think they're doing?" asked Tenchi.  
"I don't know..." said Washu.  
  
(Outside) "Oh Tenchi! You are so sweet!" said Ryoko.  
"I know. Anyways Ryoko, what shall we do now?" asked the doll  
"I don't know. You decide..."  
"Party!!" it yelled. Suddenly Ryoko jumped on top of the Tenchi doll.  
  
"Ah! What are they doing?" yelled Tenchi. He watched the surveillance camera from the lab.  
"I told you already! His personality is totally different from yours!" said Washu.  
"Well then, don't let him get into any trouble." Said Tenchi.  
  
That night...  
  
There was a ring at the door. Ryoko flashed over to the door and opened it. There was one man in the doorway and tons of people behind him.  
"This Tenchi's house?" the man asked.  
"Yeah! What took you guys so long? Come in and party!" yelled Ryoko. All the men and women came marching in and another man blasted music from his boom box.  
"Hey at least you had plenty of parking space!" Said the man with the boom box. Ryoko approached the Tenchi 4000.  
"Tenchi, I'm glad you considered this party!" yelled Ryoko. She could barley hear herself over all the noise. Washu, Sasami, Ayeka, Kiyone, and Mihoshi came out of their rooms.  
"What is all of this Ryoko?! You know not to have parties!" yelled Ayeka. "Grandpa Masaki would kill you!" She looked down at the floor from the balcony. She saw Grandpa Masaki in the maush pit.   
"Yeah! Yahoo!" yelled Grandpa. Ayeka slapped her forehead. Sasami ran in her room crying. Suddenly, Kiyone brought out her badge.  
"Okay! Party's over! Everyone out! First Class Detective Kiyone at your service. Everyone gasped and started running out the door. The house was empty.   
"Aw! And I was having so much fun! Kiyone! Why did you do that?" said Grandpa. He went back to the shrine.   
"Um Kiyone? Why did you do that? They were having fun!" said Mihoshi.  
Kiyone looked around. "Mihoshi! Just look around and see how messy this place this is!" The house was trashed. There were tons of empty beer and pop cans all over the floor along with wrappers and stains all over the walls and floor.  
  
The Tenchi 4000 marched in Washu's lab. "Help Washu. Minor dysfunction!!" It fell down on the floor. Washu quickly closed the back wall of Tenchi 4000's and ran over to it.   
"What's wrong?" There was a huge explosion. The Tenchi 4000 self destructed! All the girls ran into Washu's lab. Ryoko grabbed the leftover Tenchi 4000 head.  
"No Tenchi! Tenchi blew up! My poor little Tenchi!" She started to bawl. Ayeka stared blankly at the remains.  
"Tenchi...is...gone...." "No Tenchi!" yelled Sasami. She also started to cry.  
"Washu did you do this!?" yelled Kiyone.   
"No! I didn't do a thing!" said Washu. "Mihoshi had already ran out of the lab crying. Tenchi came out of the dark corner laughing hysterically. "Girls! Girls! I'm right here! Don't worry!" Ryoko and Ayeka looked up at him.  
"Tenchi! You're alive! But how..." began Ayeka.  
"Don't worry! That's just a robot!" said Tenchi.  
"You mean to tell me that, that wasn't you at that party?" Ryoko yelled. She hopped towards Tenchi. "I knew that all along!"   
"Yeah right Ryoko!" yelled Ayeka. "You thought it was him just as much as I did!"   
Tenchi made a sweat drop and slapped his head. "Oh, here we go again...."   
  
THE END!  
  
I hope you liked my story. So don't give me any bad reviews! Okay? Peace!  
-Mishaio  
  
  
  
  



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